Deferred

Today was the day that I had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to have my knee and what I think is my hamstring looked at. This follows up on my ER visit a couple of weeks ago. But, this morning we received a call that the doctor had been called into emergency surgery so we had to reschedule for next week.

The word that crossed through my head when I heard about this was deferred. The appointment wasn’t cancelled. It was just postponed until next week. It will still happen. I probably thought of the word “deferred” because I’ve been thinking about that a lot with food lately.

One of the techniques that has helped me a lot is to consciously defer things, particularly food. If it is mid-afternoon and I had a higher calorie lunch and I don’t have a lot of calories left for the day, I might defer having a snack. I don’t tell myself that I can’t have those pistachios (my favorite snack), but I might tell myself that I’ll wait until after dinner. If I eat them in the afternoon, then I still might want to have a snack in the evening. By deferring the afternoon snack, I may end up eating less overall even if I still decide to have the nuts in the evening.

And, sometimes, when I defer a food I end up never eating it. The other day I thought about having a snack in the late afternoon. I often have a snack then, but that day I had had a larger lunch than usual. I wasn’t ravenous, but I did just want my snack. But, I decided to defer it until later. In due course, I had dinner. I got busy, and it wasn’t until midnight that I realized I had never had the deferred snack so I decided not to eat it.

So, why not just say from the start that I’m not going to have the food. Why defer it instead? Well, first, sometimes I do decide against a food entirely. Yesterday, around dinner time I mentioned to my husband that I wished it wasn’t Wednesday. I had plenty of points for the day left. I had plenty of weekly points left. And, I was just suddenly in the mood to go out to eat. Had this been on the weekend or maybe even Monday I would have done it. But, with a Friday morning weigh in, I usually don’t like to eat out on Wednesday or Thursday unless I really have to. And, I really didn’t have to eat out. I just wanted to.

In this case, I didn’t defer the decision. I knew immediately that eating out wasn’t really in my plans for the day and that I wasn’t going to change my mind. So, I just quickly told my husband that while I would like to eat out, I knew it was best not to and then I went and made my dinner.

But, in other situations, deferral works well for me. In some instances, there is nothing wrong with eating the food, but if I defer it until a little later I end up eating less calories overall so it works out better. I don’t risk eating too early in the day and then being starving in the evening. In some instances, deferring is an antidote to feeling deprived. If I constantly tell myself that I can’t have a particular food, then I can start having a pity party and will feel deprived. On the other hand, if I tell myself that I can have that food….later…then I don’t feel deprived.

And, deferring doesn’t have to just be that day. There are some restaurants that I really like but are harder to eat at within the calories I want to eat. I do much better to say that I won’t go to that restaurant today or this week but maybe next week or next month. I just went to a Mexican food restaurant that I really like that I’ve been deferring going to since last summer! At no point did I ever syw that I couldn’t eat there. I just deferred eating there every time it came up as a possibility. Finally, I decided I had deferred enough and I really wanted it so I went there for dinner. I’ll probably go back in a few months.

Deferring works for me because I don’t feel deprived when I defer something and I feel like I still have control and can do what I want. Overall, it is much gentler to me than simply telling myself that I can’t have something.

Do you ever use deferral as a weight loss or maintenance tool?

Comments

    • Kitty says

      Truthfully, I use deferral for other things too. For example, something that I want to buy but don’t really need and sort of frivolous to spend. I might go ahead and buy it, but sometimes I decide to defer it. I won’t buy it this time, but maybe I’ll buy it next month or something. I keep it on my “list” of things I want but I don’t actually have to buy it right that minute.

    • Kitty says

      Indeed. But, the nice thing about deferral is that you just don’t feel as deprived since you leave open the possibility if you really end up wanting it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge