I posted about 10 days ago about needing to go through my clothes and throw out stuff and buy some more clothes.  So, yesterday, I went through my clothes closet and tried on lots of clothes.  The good news was that a lot of clothes that used to be too small now fit me.  The bad news was that I have almost no clothes that fit me.  And, the only thing that does fit, is basically jeans and T shirts and some exercise clothes.

I really like wearing T shirts, but I’m very particular about what I like.  I don’t like T shirts that are too tight and I don’t like them if the neck is too tight or if the sleeves are super short.  In going through stuff, I got rid of some that I bought but never really liked because they violated one of those dislikes.  But, I had a lot of T shirts I bought years ago in a thinner phase that I had barely worn before I couldn’t wear them any more.  I also had a few shirts I bought when I was close to being able to wear them, then gained weight and never wore them.  Those almost all fit me now.  So, I’m on good shape on T shirts.

I bought new jeans fairly recently, so I’m OK on those too.  I don’t have a lot of them but enough to get buy.

I also can still wear the jacket that is in my picture on the front page of the blog (the leopard pattern one).  And I have one other jacket I can wear.  I have a knit jacket that I can sort of wear.  That is, it is OK now but is will be too big in another 5 pounds.

I have a few shells that I can wear.

And….that is basically it.

I work from home now so don’t need a lot of formal, office clothes any more.  What I found out was that, except for the shells, I couldn’t wear any of that.  These are suits that are utterly falling off me.  They had been loose  the last time I wore anything like that a few months ago, but now they can’t be worn at all.

So, I have no “nice” pants.  Basically, what I have left is 2 pairs of newish jeans, 2 pairs of ratty exercise pants (these need to go), and 1 pair of shorts (I wear these to weigh in with each week).

A little over a year ago, I had bought some nicer casual clothes.  These weren’t dressy, but were nicer than jeans and T shirts.  The tops still fit but the pants are too big.

I tend to get cold easily so around the house I have a habit of wearing a T shirt and then putting a loose flannel shirt over them as a kind of light jacket.  I’ve worn out the shirt I’ve been using for that (appropriated from my husband) and it is too big anyway.

So – as much as I don’t want to go clothes shopping, I need to go clothes shopping.  Right now, I literally don’t have anything nicer than black jeans to wear.  I had not realized things were that urgent.  I thought I still had some nice pants that were a little loose.  Instead, I found out that they wouldn’t even stay up.

At a minimum, I need some nice pants, a nice top or two, something to wear as a light jacket around the house, maybe a blazer or other jacket, and undergarments.  It exhausts me just to think about shopping for it.

And, I don’t like spending money on clothes that I probably won’t wear that long.  I was annoyed at having to get rid of the pants from the outfits I bought last year since they had hardly been worn.  But, I know I need to have some nice clothes now, so this weekend will be a clothes shopping weekend.



Decision Fatigue

I recently read an article on Slate (one of my favorite places to read) about “decision fatigue” called Drowning in Jam.  This reminded me of my post about the Illusion of Choice.  In that post I talked about some of the problems I have with having too many choices in eating:


At the same time, I find that having to make too many choices, too often robs me of my freedom. Last summer, I started buying these store brand cookies at the grocery store. They were small and usually 5 of them were around 110 to 120 calories. So, I would have 5 and that was fine. I planned to do this 2 or 3 times a week. But, I soon found myself having a serving every day. Then, every time I walked by the pantry I would have to make a choice on whether to eat them or not.

Now, from a Weight Watchers standpoint, it was fine to eat them. I was recording my food and I could choose to eat them. So, I had that choice. But, really that choice was an illusion. It got to a point that every time I went by the pantry I would have to make that choice each time. Eventually I was having several servings in a day. And, over that summer I gained 10 pounds.

The point is that having those cookies right there forced me to make that choice every time I got near them. I could certainly choose not to eat them. And, maybe if I was a better me, I would have made that choice. But, in reality, this was for me a choice that didn’t give me freedom. I would “choose” to eat the cookies and then would feel awful that I ate them. I felt imprisoned by my choice.

It turns out that this is something which has been researched and I’m not alone in my feelings about being exhausted by too many choices.  In the article this is described as decision fatigue:

The name is self-explanatory; constant decision-making can be overwhelming. Think about something as simple as grocery shopping after work. Do you get the organic berries at $7 or the nonorganic at $4? Which style of pasta? Which brand of juice? If you’re like me, you only manage to pick out a few things before you get cranky.

It may seem liberating to live in a land of infinite choices, but research in decision-making suggests otherwise.

The article then described a study that found that 3% of people who visited a sampling booth with 24 jams to choose from bought jam, while 30% of people who visited a booth with 6 jams bought some.  The article also mentions my issue: “Still more research has found that repeated decision-making also leads to decreased self-control.”

The article goes on to talk about how maintaining self control is exhausting:

Maintaining self-control takes subconscious thought and effort—the box of donuts in the break room you’re resisting is a low-level distraction throughout your day. As one group of researchers put it: “Just as a muscle gets tired from exertion, acts of self-control cause short-term impairments in subsequent self-control.” Researchers call this ego depletion, referring to Freud’s “ego”: the moderate, socially acceptable version of ourselves that mediates between the superego and the id.

The article goes on to give some ideas about how to deal with these issues.  For example, setting up a time limit to make decisions or, for less important things, let a randomizer decide for you.



Saturday Weigh In

After not going last week, I went to this week’s meeting and was up .4 pounds to 159.8 pounds.  While I don’t like going up, I really wasn’t upset about it.  I had a good week and felt I was back on track and doing well compared to the week before where I hadn’t been stellar.  During that week I simply overate.  I ate more points than my daily points plus my weekly points.  It was the worst week I’ve had in over a year.  But, during this past week, I was able to get back under control and stayed within my points (I did eat all but one of my weekly points) and my weight was down quite a bit by Saturday compared to the start of the week.

So, being up .4 of a pound was really deserved and not unexpected and it didn’t really bother me.  I mean, I didn’t like it but it didn’t craze me.  I hate it when I do everything right and I have a gain.  But that wasn’t the case here.  I actually was happy to see a gain of less than half a pound all things considered.

I do think I was in a little bit of a funk.  I know that for me it is easier to stay on program and focused on weight loss when my extra weight is more painful to me.  But, lately, the extra weight has started to be …less painful.  Suddenly, I am able to wear clothes that I haven’t worn in years.  I found some old T shirts this week that I thought were too small and now they are loose on me.  I can really see a big difference in how I look.  While I am not yet normal weight I am close enough that I am much less worried about any negative health consequences of being overweight.  I’m still worried, just not has much as when I weighted 45 pounds more than I weigh now.

It is harder to maintain intensity as I get closer to my goal weight.  So, that is a factor.  Another factor was that my computer was away at the manufacturer being repaired for a couple of weeks.  While I was gone I was using a notebook where it is harder to do posts to the blog and I don’t get as much data on My Fitness Pal as I do using my computer (I use a script that shows my WW Points Plus on MFP and I didn’t have that while my computer was gone).  That sort of threw me off track.  My schedule has been a little different so that has been a factor.  I’ve had trouble sleeping so I’ve been tired and not exercising.  All of that made it hard to stay in focus on what I was eating.  Suddenly I was just hungry all the time and not in a mood to really be careful with what I was doing.

I think I have snapped out of it now.  Last week ended up being fine and this week is looking OK so far.  I really want to be back on the downward trail this Saturday when I weigh in.



NWI and Clothes

I did not weigh in on Saturday.  I missed my Weight Watchers meeting.  I had a lot of trouble sleeping last week and decided to sleep in.  I will say that it was not a stellar week.  I would have expected a small gain had I gone to the meeting.


On another note…I realized this weekend that I need to buy more clothes, particularly pants.  I usually wear jeans or exercise pants, with occasionally wearing something more dressy.  I had bought some size 12 jeans a few weeks ago, but hadn’t really thought about my nicer clothes.  This weekend I was going to wear a nice pair of pants and was shocked when I put them on that I was having trouble keeping them up.  I looked and they were size 16.

I’ve been avoiding buying many clothes for a couple of reasons.  First, I am sort of at a point where size 14 is too big, but size 12 fits…but isn’t really comfortable.  I tend to like my clothes loose.  Right now, the size 12 jeans fit, but there is no extra looseness.  I wanted to lose another 5 pounds or so before doing major purchases.  But, I am starting to think I really can’t wait much longer.  I went through some clothes in my closet and found that some shirts now fit me that had once been too tight.  So that was good.  But, again, most of my “nicer” clothes are size 16 and don’t fit at all.  Kind of a shame, because some of it is still in good shape.  It wasn’t really so expensive that it would be worthwhile to alter it, but I don’t like getting rid of clothes that don’t show signs of wear.

I also realize going through my closet that I have some things that I love that really is worn out.  I wear T shirts or sweatshirts a lot and I found several that have small holes in them or are visibly worn.  I know they have to go, but I hate parting with them.

Then, there are others that are old, but in great shape and I never wear them.  Usually it is because there is something I don’t like about how they feel on me, even though they look good.  For example, I can’t stand anything that fits too tightly around my neck.  I have some shirts that are nice but I don’t wear them because I can feel them on my neck.  Another thing I don’t like is shirts with heavy embroidery.  I like looking at them but the heavy embroidery tends to make the shirt stiff and itchy.  So, I avoid wearing them.

I know I just need to go through and get rid of all this.  The problem then is that my closet will be all but empty.  I know I can buy clothes to replace them, but two problems with that.  First, I don’t really like clothes shopping.  I just want to avoid it and put it off.  Second, I don’t like spending a lot of money for clothes when I’m almost 13 pounds or so from my goal weight and I expect I will set a new goal weight a little lower than that.  I expect to eventually get down to probably size 8, so I’m reluctant to spend too much on size 12 clothes.

At the same time, I realize I just don’t have much to wear between what doesn’t fit, what is worn out, and what I don’t like.  So, I need to break into the clothes budget (and I have a lot of unused clothes budget that I can spend from) and buy at least some stuff.


150s Weigh In

At long last, finally, I officially weighed in at 159.4 pounds, putting me in the 150s!  It has been a long, long time (think the 1990s) since I was in the 150s.  I lost .6 pounds to end up at 159.4 pounds, for a total loss so far of 48 pounds.

WW 10-11

I can already see that my next goal is to get to 50 pounds lost.  I was so happy about this weight loss, particularly since I almost didn’t go to my meeting this week.  It was a sort of blah week.  I was really hungry the entire week, not really sure why.  I made the mistake of buying a bag of Kettle Sriracha potato chips.  They were yummy, but way too hard to portion control.  I didn’t go wild with the eating, but I did eat all my weekly points.  That was OK (that is why we have the weekly points there to eat), but I wasn’t active and didn’t feel great most of the week so I wasn’t expecting much of a loss.  I also had problems sleeping all week and was really tired so considered skipping the meeting just to get more sleep (meeting is in the morning).  But….when I saw I was going to have a loss that would put me in the 150s I was eager to go to the meeting.

Except for the fact that I had a loss this week, there wasn’t that much notable about the week.  I didn’t feel well most of the week, didn’t sleep well, and didn’t eat well.  On the other hand, while I wasn’t totally happy with my eating I did stay within my points so it all worked out.  This week, assuming I feel better, I am going to be more active and be more careful on food.  Monday is my husband’s birthday and we will go out for dinner, but he has already said he wants to have a dessert (shared) at dinner, rather than having a cake.  This is one of those times when it is good that he is a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and still watches what he eats.  That makes it easier for me as well.