Weigh In

I did go to my meeting last Saturday and actually ended up with a pretty good week.  And, thankfully, I had a loss of 1 pound, to end up at 159 pounds which is finally new weight lost since I first got into the 150s in October.  Last week had started out a bit rocky and I could see that I was starting to get into a habit of overeating and then saying I would get back on track tomorrow.  I finally decided I had to get back on track today and managed to stay on track for the rest of the week.

This week is a bit challenging due to it being a holiday and my mother is visiting.  I did eat out some this weekend, but kept close watch on it and feel I’m in good shape leading into Thursday.  I usually don’t have a terrible time on actual holidays since I watch those very carefully.  Still, with Thanksgiving on Thursday I’m not sure how I’ll do at a weigh in on Saturday.

My main goal for this week is to stay within my points – daily plus weekly.  If I do that and I have a small gain on Saturday then I will know it is because of the heavier meal on Thursday and won’t worry about it.

I have just sort of been in a weight loss funk the past 6 weeks or so.  I feel like I’m back in the right mind frame now and am optimistic for the rest of the year.

The Danger of “Tomorrow”

So, I didn’t weigh in last Saturday.  And, I didn’t post since last weekend.  And, for one reason:

WOD

World of Warcraft released a new expansion on November 13 (Warlords of Draenor).  And, that has been consuming most of the last week.  Originally, I planned to go to my Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday, but WoW had all kinds of problems with the launch when long log in times and lots of bugs and I didn’t get to play as much Thursday and Friday as planned.  The expansion is awesome, now that people can easily get in and are able to play.  Anyway, we (I play with my husband a lot) decided to skip the WW meeting on Saturday since that looked like the first really stable time we could play after the expansion came out.  On the one hand, I realize that is a frivolous reason to miss a meeting.  On the other hand, it had been over 2 years since the last expansion, so not something that happens often.

But – I’ve noticed in the past couple of weeks a bit of dangerous thinking.  I’ve been eating more than usual and not eating good things.  And, I kept saying I would get back on track “tomorrow.”  When I don’t weigh in on Saturday it is very easy for “tomorrow” to then become a new day with a new “tomorrow” when I would plan to get back on track.  If I know I will be weighing in that week, I tend to not let that persist too long because I don’t like bad weigh ins.  But, with missing two weigh ins, I tended to just keep saying I would get back in control “tomorrow” — whenever that was.

I could see that my weight was starting to creep up and even went over 160 a couple of days.  Finally, a few days ago, I realized that I couldn’t wait until “tomorrow” to get back on track.  I had to get back on track today.  My husband was out and about and I wanted to call and ask him to bring Subway home with him.  But, I didn’t really have the points available to do it.  My first thought was that I would get back on track “tomorrow” and I could have Subway today.

But, I stopped and really thought.  I realized that this is how I have failed before.  I’ve been in a situation where I keep saying “tomorrow” and I gain a few pounds and I don’t want to weigh in with a gain of that much.  So, I say I will go back when I’ve lost what I gained.  And, then, I keep saying I will do that “tomorrow” and the result is that I go back when I’ve gained 20 or 30 pounds.  I really don’t want to do that this time.

I told myself that I had to stay on program today and to banish the thought of “tomorrow” and focus much more on “today” instead.  I’m happy to say that the scale is now back under 160 pounds.  I’m up .2 of a pound from what I weighed at home at my last WW weigh in so I don’t think I’ve done too much damage.  Regardless, I will weigh in this Saturday.

NWI

I didn’t weigh in Saturday, but it wasn’t because I was avoiding it.  It was because I was watching Blizzcon on my computer.

Blizzcon 2014

I bought the virtual ticket to Blizzcon which was on Friday and Saturday.  One of the live events I wanted to watch was Saturday morning and I decided to skip Weight Watchers to watch the live stream.

Last week was not a great week from an eating standpoint.  The only good thing I can say is that I did track everything and I’ve been doing well the last few days.

I’ve been preoccupied the last few weeks getting ready to play the new expansion on World of Warcraft which comes out Thursday.  I plan to take it easy the until then, but then I’ll be playing intensively Thursday and Friday before Weight Watchers on Saturday.

On the positive side, I plan more activity early in the week and I’ll be busy playing Thursday and Friday so I won’t be thinking much of food.  On the other hand, I won’t be real active those two days (which is another reason to be active early in the week).

I’ve sort of been in a funk the past few weeks, but I am in a much better frame of mind now, so I think it will be a good week.

 

 

Pain Reduction and Motivation

One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is that motivation to stay on plan and lose weight wanes a bit as the pain of being overweight goes down with weight loss.  To a certain extent I have internalized some behaviors and I do them without really thinking or agonizing about them.  Take Halloween candy for example:

Butterfinger

We don’t get a lot of Tricker Treaters at our house so we don’t need a lot of candy to give out.  My daughter gave out candy and at the end of the night we had 20 fun size Butterfingers left (my absolutely favorite candy).  We were going to split it and I took 7 pieces, leaving the rest for her.  She made the comment to me that she thought Butterfingers were my favorite.  And, I responded that they are.  But, I knew how many I wanted to take to eat as snacks and really had no angst in taking 7 instead of 10 (or more) or even buying more in the first place.  So, this is something that I’ve changed and I don’t feel all that tempted to go back to the way it used to be.

On the other hand, these last couple of months my weight loss has slowed.  Now, some of that has been that my activity has been down, in part because of I’ve doing more fun stuff (playing World of Warcraft) on my computer.  And, part of it is that I haven’t been sleeping well so I’ve been tired during the day and don’t want to exercise. Also, I’ve been eating a bit more (although mostly still within my points) because I’ve been hungrier.  But, all of that begs the question.

Why have I put activity to a lower priority?  And, why have  I suddenly been hungrier or, to put it another way, why have I been more willing to eat higher calorie foods when I’ve been hungry?

I think that part of it — really the largest part of it — is that the pain of being overweight is now much lower.  When I started back with Weight Watchers I weighed about 48 pounds more than I weigh now.  I was decidedly obese.  I wasn’t happy with how I looked or how I felt.  I was worried about the health effects of overweight.  I was worried about the health effects of being so sedentary.

I hated seeing my picture or looking in the mirror.  And, I worried that the weight would have a negative effect on my health.  As I lost weight, I couldn’t early on see much actual difference and I was still obese.  When I started this blog last December I had already lost 20 pounds.  That was great, of course, but the pain of overweight hadn’t really changed much.  I didn’t see much difference in the mirror and I was still obese.

Now, things are different.  Almost suddenly I see a huge difference in the mirror.  Clothes are falling off of me.  I am in the overweight category of BMI, not the obese category.  I finally got to where I was only 13 pounds from my Weight Watchers goal.  Actually, only 11 pounds away from not having to pay to attend meetings.

From a health standpoint, I feel better and feel that at my current weight I don’t have as many health risks as before.  Yes, I’m still obese by fat percentage so I know I have a long way to go.  But, it is a much shorter way than it was a year ago.

What I find is that the pain of being 13 pounds overweight is way less than the pain of being 60 pounds overweight.  And, that does lessen motivation to some extent.  Actually, that isn’t quite the right way to put it.  I am still motivated to lose weight, but the critical need to do so has lessened a bit.  When I started this blog I felt a critical need to lose weight RIGHT NOW.  Any week without a loss was very upsetting to me as I felt I wasn’t meeting that critical need.  Now, I still want to lose weight, but I don’t see it as being so critical to have a loss every week.  If I maintain or bounce back and forth and stay the same, it isn’t as big a deal.  So, if I’m hungry I don’t pay as much attention to what I eat.  I don’t go out of my way to overeat, but I’m tending to eat first and count points later rather than planning it out in advance as I did before.  This has sometimes led to a day when I was surprised to see how many points that I ate when I recorded it later in the day.

The thing is that I really need to change my behavior on this.  Some years ago I got down into the 150s a couple of times and each time I stalled out.  The lowest I got to was around 155 pounds.  And, it was for the reason I’m talking about here.  Basically, I got to that point and I started letting other things than weight loss be a priority.  I still wanted to lose weight, but I let other stuff take center stage.  And, in both cases, I ended up regaining as I got out of the habit of doing what brought me there.

I have to be aware of this and realize that I’m not ultimately talking about staying where I am now versus losing more.  I am in danger of getting out of mindset that got me here and then ending up regaining.  And, that is not at all acceptable to me.  Starting now, I will recommit to putting my weight loss and healthy living goals first.

 

Saturday Weigh In

I was definitely put out by my weigh in Saturday.  My calorie deficit on Fitbit says I should have lost .3 pounds.  Now, this was not a great week — actually I had 6 good days and one day that was bad.  And, sometimes, I’ve noticed what Fitbit tells me may not show up for a few days.  So, if I had woke up on weigh in day with a .3 pound deficit on Fitbit and I had stood on my scales at home and had a gain I would have been OK with it.  But, I didn’t.  My scale at home would have been consistent with a loss of around .2 or .4 pounds (closer to .4 than .2 actually).

My scale and WW scale are not exactly the same but the relationship between them is usually consistent from week to week.  My current scale tends to weigh a little heavier than the WW scale so I keep that in mind.

Anyway, I got to Weight Watchers and weighed in at 160 pounds for a gain of .2 pounds.  This was aggravating since my weigh in at home led to expect either 159.4 or maybe 159.6 pounds.  I was utterly shocked to have a gain.

The next morning I weighed and was down .6 pounds!  Of course, that was at home and not Weight Watchers.

After the meeting, we went to Genghis Grill for lunch (always easy to eat within points there) and then went clothes shopping.  It was a weird day for weather.  It was windy and little cool.  Not awful, but it was freezing in the mall.  I went to Macy’s and saw literally nothing that I liked.  And, I was so cold I finally told my husband I just wanted to leave.

We then went to Dress Barn and I was able to find a few things that will tide me over for the next few months.  A few casual jackets and tops and a pair of nicer black pants.  I was at a weird size in pants.  The 14s were all too big for me.  There was one pair that was….OK … but I knew that if I lost a few pounds it would be too small.  The 12s were mostly OK…but a tiny bit tighter than I would like.  Some of them were just way too tight.  I could fasten them but didn’t like how they looked.  I finally chose 12s that looked OK on me although the waistband is just slightly tighter than I would prefer.  But, they looked OK on me and I felt would last longer than the 14s that were already quite loose on me.

I still need to buy a few more things, but at least I’ve gotten some nicer clothes that will tide me over for the next few months!